From behind the scenes | Welcome

I thought that to be an artist I have to be make perfect drawings. I have to have an art degree and I have to look better than I do.  I never knew which path to chose, so almost like in Mr.Nobody I felt stuck among all the choices there were. And I wanted to try all of them. So usually I would pick an option which would give me an illusion that I can do everything. It took me quite a while to finally decide, that the best form of work and way of expressing myself is via visual art.

Too scared to fail

Of course I struggle. I struggle to even call myself an artist. I tend to say I need a license to call myself a photographer. I  need a website to be able to show what I do. I always find new thing to keep the distance between me and being who I think I want to be. Perhaps, because I am scared of failing, or that it would not be what I want, or that people would be too harsh on me and I would feel worse than now.

So I kept waiting and there was always a new reason why. The ultimate goal to wait for perfection.

“The train to Perfection will be delayed by 10 minutes. I repeat …“

I wanted to start with perfect pictures on the website, perfect reviews on all the platforms, because in my mind that was the only way how to survive. How to become successful. And instead of joy and freedom that art was supposed to bring me, I created a chore and a cage where I was too scared to move.

But what if…?

I realised that what I see is all the nice polish side of social media or finished products. That is the part I take back and compare with my messy experiments. Then I proceed to spend hours sulking and taking bath in self pity.

I wanted to talk to people I knew / follow who in my eyes were “making it out there” … because (after I got tired of sulking) I was sure, they also must struggle at the beginning. And the least I can find is the inspiration and advice from what they learnt. I started to reach out to my friends, colleagues, people I “know” online and asked if they are willing to share with me what is behind the scenes of their beginnings.

Welcome behind the scenes!

Thus From behind the scenes began and is here also for you to learn from it and feel that it is ok to be scared, it is ok to fail, it is ok not to have perfect logo, perfect image. But you know what, it is also ok to have it all perfect :) Sometimes, perfect is exactly as it is. And as my good friend says: “Good enough is new perfect.”

Welcome and enjoy!

PS: And if you know about someone who would be willing to share their stories, please let me know.